Tapestry
by omens
Summary: “It’s not real, Luke. You got it skewed up somewhere.” Set about a year after ‘What Comes After the Blues.’ Lucas and Haley centric.
1. Prologue: Please Don't Let It Be

**Name:** Chris

**Title:** Tapestry

**Fandom:** One Tree Hill

**Genre:** Angst

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** "It's not real, Luke. You got it skewed up somewhere." Lucas and Haley centric Set about a year after 'After the Blues.'

Based on the 15 Pairings prompt 'what lies within.' I'm not sure how long this is gonna end up being…right now I'm aiming for about 4-5 chapters.

For Kat, as I've been promising her a Laley fic forever.

…0…

_Save me a place, down in your heart, _

_But don't let the road take you too far from me_

…0…

…_she walked in with a sashay to her step; a blended air or mystery and contempt rolling off her in waves…_

Grunting in frustration, Lucas slammed the top of his laptop shut and rubbed his eyes in distraction.

"Aren't you supposed to be writing?"

He looked up into the soft brown eyes of his best friend and smirked. "Aren't you supposed to be teaching?"

With a grin, she flopped onto the small couch along the back wall of his office. "It's called planning period."

He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Whatever you say, Hales."

Feigning being indignant, Haley settled further onto the couch and opened one of the folders she'd brought in with her.

Not even two seconds went by before Lucas pulled it easily from her grasp. She looked up at him, a pout on her face, and cocked an eyebrow. "That was rude."

"Who's in the teacher's lounge?" he asked, a smirk threatening to break out over his face. Haley had gotten better over the last few months; she still had the tendency to get intimidated by her old teachers being her colleagues. "Is it Mr. Perkins again?"

"Maybe," she replied, now thoroughly engrossed in her nails without her files to look at.

Lucas laughed, earning a scathing look from his best friend. She shoved at his shoulder and jerked her folder away, flipping it open and extracting a pen from her pocket. "You need to write and I need to grade. Go."

"Yes, ma'am," he quipped with a salute.

Haley chuckled softly, the sound of her pen marking the pages making quite scratching noises. He settled back down at his desk, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck as he examined the words he'd already written. Looking up discreetly, he studied his best friend as she worked in silence, not even stopping when a stray wisp of hair fell into her eyes-she merely pushed it back and kept going. This was his third book and, though he'd never tell her, Lucas had realized that his main character had a lot of Haley in her. He wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but it was proving to be a challenge. Writing someone he knew so well should've come much easier to him.

Even though the coffee sitting beside his laptop had long gone cold, Lucas took a sip. He sat it back down, not really paying attention, and it tipped, spilling the contents all over his desk and down the leg of his jeans.

"Damn it," he muttered and bent down to wipe the liquid from the floor so he wouldn't slip on it later.

"Need some help?" Haley offered.

He shook his head, bending even further under his desk, then realized she couldn't see him. "No," he said, "I'll get it."

The coffee continued to seep outward, further than Lucas had realized and when he moved his hand to reach the far corner near the outlet where his computer was plugged in, his hand slipped and he lost his balance, following forward and pulling the plugs out when he attempted to catch himself against the wall. His hand hit the outlet just as the cord came loose, sending a strong shock through his body via his wet hand.

Lucas jumped back at the shock, his head colliding with the bottom of his desk, and fell sprawled on the floor of his office. A string of curses sprang forth from his lips and Haley fell to her knees beside him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just think I fried my hand off," he shook it, wiggling his fingers to ascertain any damage. "That hurt like hell."

"I'll bet." She ran her hand over the top of his head, apologizing when he winced away from her hand. "Sorry." Settling back on her hands, she gave him a sympathetic look. "You're gonna have a nasty bump tomorrow."

He gave her a lopsided grin, shrugging easily. "I'll live." Haley laughed and made to get up off the floor when she noticed a pained expression come over his face. "Luke?"

Hand on his chest, Lucas's breathing became heavier and more labored while the color drained from his face. "Hales," he gasped, "call someone." A ringing in his ears grew louder, his vision blacking out around the face of his best friend until it engulfed him.

…0…

_**Lyrics from 'Please Don't Let it Be' by The Alternate Routes.**_


	2. You On My Mind In My Sleep

…0…

_The symptoms are too deep_

_I've got you on my mind in my sleep_

…0…

Haley looked around the faces in the hospital waiting room, feeling her own panic increasing at the sight of worry and anticipation etched into the expressions of the people around her.

Skillz, having heard her screaming for help as Lucas lost consciousness, managed to calm her down enough so she was able to get call Principal Turner from Lucas's office phone while he called 911. Now he was pacing back and forth across the waiting room, muttering under his breath.

Her eyes fell on Jamie, sitting quietly in Deb's lap, watching everything unfold around him. Haley's heart went out to him. It wasn't as if he really understood what was going on; only that his Uncle Lucas was sick and that everyone was worried about him.

"Hales."

She turned at her husband's voice, and then to the direction his eyes were looking. The doctor walked towards them and she felt her breath catch at the sober look on his face.

"Is Lucas okay?"

It seemed to Haley that Peyton's voice was coming from a million miles away, not scant inches to her left, Brooke's arm around her shoulder. Licking her lips, Haley turned her attention to the doctor and the thought ran briefly through her head that she recognized him.

"I need to speak to a family member," he said in an overly even tone. "Parents, wife."

Half the eyes of the small crowd looked to Peyton, like they expected her to claim the status of wife fresh on the heels of a shaky reunion. The rest, she guessed, may have been looking for Karen to show up at any moment even though it had only been a few hours since Nathan had called her in Barcelona.

"I'm his brother," Nathan spoke up, and Haley felt his warm fingers slip through her icy ones, tugging her in against his side.

"Your brother's condition," the doctor began, in a somber tone that made Haley's stomach clench violently, "is very serious, Mr. Scott?"

It was Brooke who voiced the question; "How serious?" that had been running through all of their heads ever since they'd gotten the news of Lucas's collapse.

He shifted his weight, eyes going from one face to another in the small group crowded around him. "Receiving an electrical shock of any sort is dangerous, especially with a conductor such as a liquid." He looked around again, paused, and took a breath before continuing. "Most of the concern is for the vascular system. Any sort of strong shock can disrupt a heart's rhythm. That's the main reason defibrillation is so effective for treating heart attacks."

A still kind of coldness settled over them. It didn't take a psychic to know that this sort of technical information was used to lay the groundwork for unwelcome news. They all braced themselves; holding hands, latching on to shoulders, whatever and whoever was closest.

"Your brother has sustained serious damage to his heart in the past, Mr. Scott. He's had several cardiac episodes, and coupled with the constant strain of his HCM, the shock was enough to bring on a heart attack."

"Serious?"

At the words 'heart attack' Haley felt as if she were going through a tunnel, slipping further and further away from the situation she was in. No matter how hard she tried, there was no way to know who had even asked the question.

"It wasn't massive," the doctor replied, "but with his history…serious enough."

That was the moment that Peyton and Brooke both burst into tears, turning into the other in a tight hug. Skillz began to sink towards the floor, Mouth's hand on his shoulder and Millie standing just far enough back to be supportive but not obtrusive. Seeing the scene turn, Jamie freed himself from Deb's hold and walked over to his parents. Nathan seemed to be waiting for her to do something. This was the usual relegated to her area of expertise after, the emotional stuff, but she barely noticed any of the movements around her. It wasn't until later that she even remembered noticing them. So without a word to her, Nathan pulled his hand from hers and scooped his son up, walking back to his mother at the end of the room.

…0…

Karen was the first person Haley spoke to since the doctor's news. Dawn had broken over the coastline of Tree Hill, making the entire room glow pink, when she felt the older woman's hand on her shoulder.

"Has he woken up yet?" she asked.

Haley shook her head, more tears falling from her tired eyes down her face, already sticky with the dried tears from earlier. "No. But he's sedated so…" Her vice trailed off, not sure how to reassure the woman she thought of as a second mother. "Is Peyton still upset that she can't come in?" The blonde's fury at not being allowed into ICU, since she wasn't related to Lucas by either blood or marriage, sent a wave of guilt through Haley's stomach. She herself hadn't moved in five hours, since Nathan had left with tears tracks of his own to ask Deb to take Jamie home. He hadn't been able to come back in since.

"This was my fault, Karen," Haley whispered before she even answered the question. "If I hadn't gone into his office and distracted him-"

"Don't." Karen came around and tilted Haley's chin up so that she could look her in the eye. "This was no one's fault. Lucas has a genetic heart condition. This could have happened at any time."

The sobs that she had managed to keep at bay since the day before suddenly rushed up, and Haley let her head fall into her hands as she cried, Karen's arms going around her.

She felt the vague sense that this should be the other way around. It was Karen's son that was lying in the bed fighting just to stay alive. Karen was the one who should be getting comforted, not the other way around.

"Haley?"

Both women's eyes shot to the bed. Lucas's eyes were open, barely, and he tried to raise his hand before Karen took hold of it, lowering it back to the bed. "No, honey, don't move. You need to save your strength."

"Haley." Lucas said again, this time more of a statement than a question.

She wiped at her face, trying to banish all traces of the tears and pushing her hair away, and leaned over to take his hand in hers. "Hey, you," she said, "how are you feeling?"

"Like there's an elephant sitting on my chest," he replied, and fidgeted, a look of discomfort on his face. "You were there?"

Eyebrows knitting together in confusion, she responded, "Yeah. In your office. Don't you remember?"

She watched his shake his head and look at her apologetically. "Not really. I remember…you. The look on your face. But that's it."

"It'll come back," she assured him. "Or maybe not. It was just an accident after all-"

"No," he told her, his voice seriously. "I don't remember anything but you…anything."

Karen inhaled sharply behind Haley, moving closer to the bed. "Lucas, what are you saying; you don't remember what happened in your office besides Haley being there…or something else?"

His face was a mask of non emotion, but he kept his eyes trained on his best friend's face as if he were hoping she would have some answers for him. "Nothing," he told his mother. "I remember nothing about my life…just Haley."

…0…

_**Lyrics from 'You on My Mind in my Sleep' by Richard Ashcroft. **_


	3. Between The Minds

…0…

_Maybe I should learn to lose my inhibition, _

_And let my feelings make some noise_

…0…

"Is this normal?" Nathan asked; an irritated and somewhat angry edge to his words. His arms were crossed over his chest and his jaw was tightly clenched-both signs that he was trying hard to reign in his emotions. "That he can't remember anything but Haley?"

Dr. Hammond, the psychiatrist that the cardiologist had called in, sighed heavily. "The truth is, Mr. Scott," he began; his voice overly calm and what Haley supposed was meant to be soothing, "what we know about how the human brain works is about a fifth of what we don't know. There really is no way to know why your brother's having any sort of memory loss after having a cardiac episode, let alone why it's only affecting him selectively."

A sound halfway between a grunt and a sigh came out of Nathan's mouth. He stepped over to the glass wall separating them from Lucas's room and gazed in to where his brother was having his vitals checked by a nurse, his mother in the chair by the window. It didn't escape his attention that his brother's eyes kept straying to Haley. Feeling his fists clench involuntarily, he turned and walked down the hall, calling out that he needed some fresh air.

Haley watched him go, her mind whirring with possibilities-none of them pleasant-of what he might go off and do.

There wasn't really much she could do for Nathan at the moment though. Dr. Hammond was still standing behind her. She turned; fighting to keep herself composed, and licked her dry lips out of nerves. "So what do we do now?"

He ushered her away from the front of Lucas's room into a small alcove just off the ICU. Haley recognized it as the spot where doctors usually took a patient's family to deliver the worst of bad news. She crossed her arms over her chest and braced herself for the words about to come.

"I would suggest," he began, "that you should try to be patient with Lucas. We don't yet know what caused his memory loss, or what exactly it is he remembers about his life. Once we have a better idea of what his memories are centered on…then we'll have a better idea of how to treat this."

"His memories are centered on me apparently." Pressing a hand against her eyes, Haley took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair. "Do you think therapy would work? Hypnosis maybe?"

Haley's voice sounded a little desperate, naïve maybe, even to her own ears. A feeling of slight embarrassment came over her at revealing just how uncomfortable this entire situation had her to a complete stranger. And the fact that the look he gave was placating bordering on pitying didn't help matters much.

"We'll cross those bridges when we come to them, Mrs. Scott." A loud, repetitive beep began to emanate from his coat pocket, and he extracted a beeper, telling her he had an emergency on another floor.

With a sigh, Haley ran a hand through her hair and turned back towards the window of Lucas's room. The nurse was taking his blood pressure, chatting easily with him and Karen. She laughed at something Lucas said, making him smile. Haley's heart clenched. Lucas may not have remembered his life, but that didn't mean he wasn't the same guy she had known since childhood. Glancing up, he caught her eye and his smile shrank, the mirth leaving his eyes and his expression sobered. Another clench, this time in guilt.

"Haley."

She turned towards Brooke who was walking purposefully down the hallway towards her with what looked to be a picnic basket. "How's Lucas?"

"He's stable…Brooke, what is all that?" she opened the lid and peeked inside.

Brooke sat the basket, huge and wicker, down on the window ledge of the alcove and threw the lid open on either side. "Well, since hospital food sucks, I had Millie pick up and entire array of heart healthy foods and juices, not to mention some entertainment." She dug in and brought several items up to show Haley. "Magazines, portable DVD, Mad Libs-from Skillz, and I even went by and got his iPod."

"_B. Davis_?" Haley asked skeptically as she eyed the magazines in Brooke's hand.

"Seeing as he doesn't really remember me-a total shame by the way as we had lots of memorable moments if you catch my drift," Brooke grinned at Haley's grossed out expression, "I figured it would help him get reacquainted with moi."

"Brooke, I really don't think Lucas is going to be up on the merits of feathers for spring anytime soon," Haley said gently.

Looking outraged, Brooke held up another magazine. "I brought _Sports Illustrated_-it's a good balance!"

Haley chuckled. Brooke was already helping more than she realized.

"So what about you, Tutor Mom, how are you doing?" Brooke asked gently, repacking the basket and closing the lid.

Haley took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Talking about herself was the last thing she wanted right then. But this was Brooke, and one thing Haley knew about Brooke Davis was that she was like a dog with a dog when she set her mind to something. "I'm…worried."

"About Lucas or Lucas's selective recall?"

"Do you think it's weird?" Haley asked. "That he can only remember me? I mean I don't even know exactly what it is he remembers but he's said that I'm the only thing he can remember. He didn't even recognize Karen but he knew my name…" her voice trailed off. She found she had trouble looking Brooke in the eye, the same way she had been with Nathan before he left. It felt wrong to say things like this to someone that was close to both her and Lucas, not to mention Peyton who hadn't been back to the hospital since she tried again to see Lucas and he hadn't even recognized her.

Shrugging, Brooke threw an arm around Haley's shoulders. "You two have a bond, Haley. I don't think it's as strange as everyone else does."

"Really?" Try as she might, Haley couldn't keep the hopefulness out of her voice.

Brooke shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "Nope. But Peyton and Nathan…that's another story."

"Great," Haley muttered. So not only was Nathan angry (with no real reason to be) but now Peyton was just as upset. There didn't seem to be an end in sight.

…0…

"Hey."

Lucas and Karen both looked up at Haley with weary smiles. She sat down the basket Brooke had brought with her on Lucas's tray and opened it. "Brooke stopped by with some food and stuff." She pulled out the magazines and iPod and handed them to Lucas. "She sends her best and promises to be helpful to the point of obnoxious once you're in a regular room."

Karen chuckled and shook her head, reaching for the copy of Brooke's magazine Lucas sat down on his bed. Lucas had the iPod in his hand, scrolling through the playlists with an intent look on his face. It took everything Haley had not to breathe a sigh of relief that he seemed interested in something other than her. Lucas was her best friend, and she loved him with all her heart, but she was more concerned about his inability to recall his life than she wanted to let on.

"So I called Deb," she turned to Karen with a fake cheery smile on her face. "Lily and Jamie have spent the morning in the pool and now they're slaughtering Skillz and Mouth at Guitar Hero. I don't think Skillz's ego will ever recover."

"You should hear her tell the story of when she beat Andy five times in a row," Karen told her. She flipped to a page with a gorgeous green evening gown with feathers trailing down the hem and grimaced. "Feathers. Of course."

"Mom?"

Karen's eyes shot up to her son, and it was obvious from the look on her face that she was hoping he remembered something-anything- about her. The magazine fell forgotten by the side of the chair as she leaned over and took Lucas's hand. "What?"

"Would you mind if I talked to Haley in private for a few minutes?"

No one could have missed the way Karen's face fell at his words and Haley's heart went out to her. "Of course," she said, gathering up her purse and walking toward the door. "I'm going to go get some coffee. Haley, would you like a cup?"

Shaking her head, Haley offered up a weak smile, hoping it would convey how sorry she was about the entire situation. It was all so unfair. "So," she began when the door clicked shut behind Karen, "what did you want to talk about, Luke?"

He inhaled slowly and his eyes rose up to meet hers, somewhat reluctantly. "Us."

…0…

_**Lyrics from 'Between the Minds' by Jack Savoretti.**_


	4. That Was Us

…0…

_Somewhere out there gathered in the dust  
Sometimes I can't remember that was us_

…0…

"So Lucas…why don't we start at the beginning."

He eyed the doctor, taking in everything from his overly calm demeanor to the graying hair at his temples all the way down to the specks of what looked like plaster on his brown wingtips.

"The beginning of what?" Lucas asked, a touch of bitterness in his words. "I don't know the beginning. Isn't that why you're here?" His eyes roved over to the window of his room, flicking over the faces of the people waiting in the hallway. His mom, even if she didn't feel like his mom at the moment, arms crossed over her chest as she took in whatever she and Haley were discussing with his cardiologist. They all looked so tense and worried and it was his fault. "Look," he said, "I'm sorry, but I really don't feel like doing this right now."

"Of course," he said. He closed the small leather book he'd been scribbling in and rose to go to he door. He paused, looking back at Lucas. "If I may, can I ask what exactly it is you think has everyone so concerned? Why do you think your family is so upset about your only remembering Haley?"

That was the question that had been plaguing Lucas from the moment he woke up and witnessed the reactions of his family. Based on the pictures that were still floating around in his head, the few glimpses of his life that he could recall, he didn't see what would make them react that way they had.

"I don't know…when I think about what I saw when I was unconscious, the memories looked like a filmstrip." He said, his voice slow and careful as if he were trying to make sense out of them for himself. "I know there are some pieces missing, but…as hard as I try, I can't seem to put them back in."

"These pieces," the doctor began, "do you think things would appear differently to you if you could see them?"

Pondering that thought for a moment, he looked out the glass once more, wondering what he'd think of the two women standing out in that hallway if what the doctor said were happening; if he remembered his mother and not Haley. And truthfully, he wondered if their reactions would be any more cheerful if that were the case.

…0…

"Hey," Haley said warmly. "Sorry we were interrupted."

Fiddling with the edge of his blanket, Lucas let his eyes move from the bed to the wall clock, anywhere but at Haley. Something told him that his instincts were screwing with his head and that looking at her would only cause more problems.

"Luke?" she prodded. "You okay?"

"_I missed you," he whispered, his heart filled to the brim with sincerity, and he knows that when she leans into him and begins to cry, she means it just as much without saying it._

"Luke," Haley repeated, alarm filling her. His eyes had gone hazy and unfocused, making her mind immediately jump to the conclusion that something was wrong. "What is it? Is it your heart?" She's beside him in a second, her hand on his forehead, searching for some small sign of what could possibly be wrong with him. "Lucas?"

There's panic in her voice. Panic he caused and that's what it takes to pull Lucas out of the hospital room in his head and back into the present one. When his eyes snap back to hers, he can see that they're bright with worry and her cheeks flushed. "Sorry. I was just…thinking." When he sees the tension leave her shoulders, sees her posture loosen in relief, he gives her a small smile. "I'm fine, Hales."

A warmth filled Haley at hearing him call her that. True, she knew that he'd said he only remembered her from everything in his life, but the familiarity in the nickname gives her hope that maybe things were getting back to normal.

"You called me Hales," she says and recognizes the sappy optimism in her own voice.

Lucas chuckled, seemingly the old Lucas she'd always known. "So…" Haley begins. "Earlier, you said you wanted to talk about us."

His expression sobered. "Oh." The air in the room, which had been familiar and playful, suddenly turned serious. Heavy. And just a touch awkward.

It didn't take a genius to see that whatever had transpired between Lucas and the psychiatrist that had interrupted their conversation was making Lucas uncomfortable. Since Lucas had first woken up and admitted that the extent of his recollection was centered on her, Haley had gone out of her way to avoid being alone in the room with him. She felt like the worst friend ever for doing it, but there was a hint of something simmering in Lucas's eyes that made her believe it was for the best.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," she offered.

He shook his head, a determined glint that she knew all too well came into his eyes. "No. I mean, yes." Sighing in frustration, he rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I meant that we do need to talk about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Haley squeezed his hand on top of the thin blanket, trying her best to force some semblance of a smile to reassure him. Lucas needed her.

Inhaling deeply, Lucas focused his eyes on the bed. "Haley…I get the feeling that my remembering you isn't what you or my mom were expecting to happen."

"No," she admitted, "it wasn't."

Confused blue eyes locked onto hers and she could sense the dissatisfaction coming off him in waves. "I can feel that there are things I'm not remembering yet, that I can't make myself remember, but what I do know…it really shouldn't be."

Haley felt her eyebrows knit together as the beginnings of a migraine began to form behind her eyes. She could tell that this was going to be one of those conversations where she and Lucas were just going to go around in circles before they finally managed to land on the point. "Just what exactly is it that you know, Luke?"

"What I know," he told her, "is that only family is allowed in here. I know that you were holding my hand when I woke up." His jaw worked in irritation as if he were explaining something that was so obvious he didn't understand the need in the clearing up. "And I know what the pictures in my head are telling me, Haley." He took hold of her hand, lifting it up off the bed and making her fingers extend, and placed his thumb across her wedding band. "They're telling me that you're my wife."

…0…

_**Lyrics from 'That Was Us' by Alexz Johnson.**_


	5. Wish You Were

_**A/N: Overdue, I know, and a short update. I had to rework some stuff to factor in the events of Season 6 so as not to be **_**entirely**_** AU. Next one will hopefully be longer.**_

…0…

_I've seen your act and I know all the facts _

_I'm still in love with who I wish you were_

…0…

"So you just left?"

Groaning, Haley dropped her head into her hands. All the better to avoid the incredulous, and accusatory, nature of Brooke's expression.

"I can't believe it," Brooke said, a hint of laughter in her voice, as she walked around the kitchen island to pour a glass of water. She handed it to Haley on the barstool and rubbed her shoulder consolingly. "Well, I guess I can. It's not everyday your life long best friend and brother-in-law wakes up from a coma and thinks he's your husband." She paused for a second during which Haley eyes her warily. "I think I saw this on a soap opera once."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Brooke."

"Lucas hasn't called you 'mon petite frete' has he?"

"Brooke!" Exasperation finally got the best of Haley. "Can you just please let me vent?"

Wrapping a sympathetic arm around her friend's shoulder, Brooke squeezed her in effort to relay the fact that she was completely there for her. "Sure Buddy."

"Thank you," Haley said, then added, "and no, he hasn't called me that. Just let me say here and now that if Lucas ever does refer to me as his little fry, I will personally wheel his hospital bed up to the psych ward."

The two shared an uneasy laugh, the idea more absurd than funny in any context before the reason for Haley's visit to Brooke's began to sink in. the sound tapered off from both of them and Brooke watched as Haley's face fell.

"So he really thinks you guys are married, huh?"

In her head, Haley was going back through the years-all the way to grade school-trying to figure out what there could possibly be in their shared history that could lend itself to Lucas's belief of a marriage between the two of them. Yes, they were affectionate towards each other, always had been. But the leap from friendly hugs and reassuring hand squeezes to something resembling a marriage was one that even Superman couldn't make. Try as she might, her anxiety-ridden brain couldn't pinpoint a single event that could help her make the same connection that Lucas had made.

Then again, she wasn't the one who had been in a coma.

"It's so absurd," Haley said. "Lucas thinking this. Isn't it?"

Sympathy was written all over Brooke's face, all too evident in her big hazel eyes and compassion seemed to radiate off of her in waves. But when two, four, ten seconds went by without Brooke answering her question, Haley realized exactly why that was. "Brooke," she pleaded, "please don't tell me you understand all of this."

"I don't know," she said honestly. "Yeah, it's weird that Lucas would fixate on the only platonic female relationship in his life ever, but you know, you've been in his life longer than anyone else so maybe it's not as strange as we think."

With a heavy sigh, Haley ran her hands through her hair and let her head drop forward. "Guess I have to go deal with this, huh?"

"I think so."

…0…

Lucas was dressed and packing up the things Brooke and Karen had brought him when Haley walked back into his hospital room. "You leaving?"

He turned towards her voice, then looked back down at his duffel bag just as quickly. "Yeah."

She licked her lips nervously. It was obvious that the way she had just up and left earlier had hurt him. "I uh," she began, wringing her hands, "I thought they wanted to keep you a few more days, move to you to a regular room, run some tests."

Zipping his bag up, Lucas shrugged. "All my tests have been within the normal range. As long as I come back if anything feels off, there's really no reason for to stay here."

"Luke-"

"Don't."

The harsh tone of his voice made her mouth snap shut. She couldn't remember the last time Lucas had spoken to her in such a cold manner, if he ever had. They'd had arguments, yelled at each other, but this was different. This…this was heartache. And she had caused it.

"You need a ride home?" she offered quietly.

Shaking his head, he replied "Peyton's coming to get me."

"Oh." Haley shifted her weight from one foot to the other. This was the first time in her entire life that she had no idea what to say to Lucas. She didn't like the feeling, not one bit. There were days, and she remembered them vividly, that she had gone the entire day and spoken to no one else but him because he was the only one she wanted to talk to. The thought made her heart hurt. "So…things are okay with you guys?"

He shrugged again. "I don't know." He finally turned around the face her, his face tight and devoid of all emotion. "But from what I've been told, we are engaged so I figured I should try and get to know her. Maybe I'll remember some things."

"That sounds like a good idea," she said, trying to force a weak smile onto her face. Tried and failed. "I hope you guys can work it out."

"Me too."

Another silence fell over the room, just as uncomfortable as the first one. Haley fiddled with her purse strap while Lucas scrolled idly through his iPod, his eyes unfocused so she knew it was just a tactic to avoid looking at her.

Unable to stand it any longer, she finally said, "I guess I'll be going then."

"Okay," he responded, not even bothering to look at her.

"Bye, Luke," Haley whispered, and left the room before he noticed the tears that were starting to well up in her eyes.

…0…

_**Lyrics from 'Wish You Were' by Kate Voegel.**_

_**If my French was off up there, oops. It's been a while.**_


	6. Fell In Love Without You

…0…

_**Only time will tell, the violins will swell**_

_**In memory of what we used to call in love**_

…0…

_Three weeks later…_

"Among other things," Haley recited, eyes rising briefly from the page of her book to check discreetly over her class, "you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know." She glanced back down at the page, making sure she was reading the words correctly though she had long ago memorized them, tuning out the squeaks and shuffles she could hear throughout the small room. "Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now."

Another voice interrupted her, coming from the door of her classroom. "Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement." Lucas smiled at her brightly, hands deep in the pockets of his faded jeans. "And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry." He looked to her then just exactly like the Lucas she had known her entire life. He looked like her best friend and she wanted nothing more in the world than to throw her arms around him and hug him like she always had.

But, as she was reminded by the stilted and awkward clearing of a throat by one of her students, she couldn't very well do that in the middle of her sixth period English class. Nor could she keep on staring at Lucas with what she could feel was a very sappy, sentimental smile on her face. She looked away from him, feeling heat flood her face and turning it red like she was a teenager who had just been caught staring at a cute guy in class, and set the book down onto her desk. Clasping her hands together in front of her, she smiled at her students, taking on a cherry voice that sounded fake even to her and told them, "You know what guys, since it's such a beautiful day outside, I'm going to let you guys go outside and finish reading the chapter in the fresh air for tomorrow's quiz, okay?"

When Haley stood, so did her class; gathering their books and bags as they hustled out around Lucas who was still in the middle of the room as he waited patiently for the room to clear and ignoring the pointed glances and whispers coming at him from the kids sidestepping past him out the door.

The room cleared and a heavy silence fell in place of the twenty bodies that had previously occupied it. "Hey," Lucas said quietly.

A relieved smile tugging at the corner of her lips, Haley walked over and took his hand. "Hi," she whispered. "I missed you."

"Really?"

The question in Lucas's voice, the awe (and she hated to admit that was what it sounded like) filling those two syllables, made Haley feel as though the bottom of her stomach had fallen out.

One of the first things the doctors had made sure to tell them after Lucas regained consciousness sans memory was that there was no way to predict how long it would take for him to get back to his old self, no way to be sure if it were possible to be that man again. That's what Haley had been reminding herself repeatedly for the past three weeks while she fought every instinct she had to call him, to rush over to his house and see him. It was what she and Nathan told Jamie when asked why his Uncle Lucas hadn't been around, why they hadn't been to see him if he was still sick.

And she had let the blind hope that he was her best friend again outweigh her common sense the second he looked at her like he used to.

"Yeah." Taking a step backwards, she let his hand fall free of hers and turned to walk back towards her desk. "So how's everything going with you and Peyton?"

It would have been impossible to ignore the way the air in the room changed. Haley closed her eyes briefly, her back to Lucas, to calm herself before she set about packing up her things. When Lucas spoke, his voice had lost the warmth it had held when reciting the passage earlier and she knew she was to blame for that; because she had made a point of asking about Peyton just to remind them both of what was going on around them.

"Things are…" his voice trailed off, unsure, and despite her better judgment, Haley turned back to face him just in time to see him shrug. "Things are weird." Lucas walked up to her desk and sat down n the edge. She felt his should and knee brush against her side as he moved. "I'm trying, Hales, I really am but its just not enough. You know?" His eyes seemed to be pleading with her to agree. He needed her to, she could see that so clearly. So she nodded in silence and settled onto the desk beside him.

"My mom left town yesterday," he said a few moments later.

Haley nodded her head again. "I know. She brought Lily over to say goodbye before they left. She said that some stuff is coming back to you."

"Nothing important," he muttered, picking up the discarded book on her desk. "Just where things are around the house, some song lyrics. Things like that."

"And quotes apparently." She inclined her head towards the tattered paperback he was holding.

A chuckle escaped him. Turning the book over between his palms, he lifted it up as if it were suddenly something more important. "Well, Catcher in the Rye is a very good book."

"It is," she agreed.

The smile on Lucas's face was just as easy as ever. His posture was relaxed, unlike the last time she had seen him in the hospital when his shoulders had been so tense he had looked ready to break. It felt again like she was looking at the same little boy who had first read the book in question in his mom's café and brought it right over to her house when he was finished.

"Man, you loved this book the first time you read it," Haley whispered, taking it from his hands instinctively. "You talked about it for weeks."

"I don't really remember that yet," he confessed, drawing her attention. "Just bits and pieces."

"And yet you can still quote it from memory," she said suspiciously, one eyebrow arched.

He rolled his shoulders, offering up a lopsided grin when he replied in a sheepish tone. "I've had three weeks with nothing to do and a stocked bookcase."

"Same old Luke."

The two of them let their eyes meet again; locking in an affectionate gaze similar to countless others they'd shared during their long friendship. But as the moment stretched on and Lucas's gaze lost none of the softness, a touch of worry eased itself into Haley's brain.

"Haley…"

She stood abruptly, walking over to the window of her classroom. Several of her students were still littered about, reading or chatting, while others had taken off, only to happy with the early day she'd given them. In the distance she could see the river, and the two hoops of the River Court looming up in front of it. So much of her and Lucas and what made up their friendship was tied up in that court. Seeing outside of her window every day of the past few weeks had been a tough pill to swallow.

"You want to go for a walk?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"A walk?"

"Yeah," he grinned at her, moving to stand beside her at the window. "You know, going somewhere without a car or other type of mechanized transportation."

"Ha, ha," she replied dryly. "Just let me get my stuff."

…0…

It came as no surprise that they ended up down by the River Court. Even the few students that were still milling around on campus had moved out of the way in that direction. They walked along the edge of the blacktop, the fading lyrics that Peyton wrote calling out to them like a siren they tried vainly to ignore; acknowledging them now would only remind them of how much things had changed since then.

"So…" Haley swung her hands back and forth, bringing them in front of her to clasp them together. "Why the walk?"

Lucas's hands found their way to his pockets. He shrugged, kicking at a pebble with his toe. "I've been ending up here a lot lately." Their eyes meet momentarily, unsaid, unnamable somethings flickering between their gazes. It gives Haley chills. "I see Peyton in my house-our house-and it makes me feel like a guest, or at best roommate. Wanna know why?" Now his eyes have gone back down to the concrete, to the quickly graying reminder of Peyton's grand gesture, and goes on before she can respond. "Because I look around the house I've lived in my entire life and I see you." Haley swears her heart stops. "I see my mom, Keith. Sometimes Jamie and Lily…but I never see Peyton. There's a whole lifetime of family memories in every inch of that place and she's not there. So I come here-to look at these words she wrote me, to try and remember how it felt to be completely in love with her. But I can't."

Its not a conscience decision to stop, or to take his hand in hers, but Haley does just like she has on countless other occasions in their lives. "Luke…" Words, always easy and natural for the two of them, failed her. It wasn't often that Haley James Scott was speechless, but then again, it wasn't everyday that her best friend was teetering on such a high, slippery precipice. There was no precedent here. Before she'd even realized it was happening, Lucas had raised her joined hands and laid them palm down on his chest. Haley felt the steady rhythm of his heart against her palm, and, unintentionally, her fingers flexed, stroking the firm muscle that formed his chest. If it were possible, she would do anything in her power to heal his heart, in every way, so that nothing bad like this would ever touch him again.

A car whizzed by at that moment, effectively breaking the spell they had fallen under. Cheeks scarlet, Haley walked to the bleachers at the far edge of the concrete and sat down carefully. Her knees were feeling a touch too wobbly to hold her up at the moment.

Even though his recollection of the moment was biased, for lack of a better word, Lucas's memory went back in time to a different day in this same spot, when the darkness in his world seemed to lift slightly; Haley, younger, smile bright against the blue sky and the wind ruffling her mane of blonde hair. He remembered the feeling of pure joy that bubbled up within him just by knowing she was there with him and knew, just knew, that the feeling may be placing a rose-colored haze over the events, but not the emotion behind it.

"I was thinking," he said "the day you came home from the tour. Hearing your voice behind me, I didn't even need to turn around because I knew that if you weren't staying that it would only hurt more."

A small smile curved her lips upwards, her face going soft in remembrance. "Depends?"

"Yeah."

Brown eyes locked onto his and Lucas felt that tug deep in his soul that he'd been trying to kindle in himself for weeks now whenever he looked at Peyton. And it hit him that he was in fact, drawn to someone in the way you should be when your entire world revolves around them.

It just wasn't Peyton.

…0…


End file.
